10 things to do to your phone while its ringing

...also 10 interesting ways to get rid of your phone.

Here are a few interesting things you can do with your phone when it rings- just to see what happens.

1. Keep ready a slurry mixture of salami, sausages and butter chicken. The moment the phone rings, toss it in the mixture, swirl it all, and gently place the bowl in the middle of a pack of mongrels sleeping nearby.

2. Get a tennis racquet. Walk up to the centre of an open ground, or a beach and face the ocean, or the edge of a cliff edge. Keep the phone in full volume. Select a very irritating ring tone for a very annoying person. Call that person and ask to be called back (create the situation will you). The moment the phone rings, toss that phone in the air, give it the hardest, pumpiest, thumpiest, full blown, socking whack with your tennis racquet... and don't miss. Missing will really piss you off.

3. Go to the top-most floor of a very tall building. Call someone or, if the phone rings, answer it and tell the person to record the conversation. Dead drop the phone to the earth. Ask the person to mail you the sound file. Play it in an endless loop, or as a separator to all the songs in your playlist. Whooooooo... BangaCrashaKlackityCrunch... Fortune, fame, mirror vain, gone insane, but the memory remains...

4. Give the phone to a 2-year-old for the day. It should be the only thing to play with.

5. Drop your phone on a busy road. Park close by. See how long it lasts.

6. Get a bonnfire ready and roaring. Toss the phone in a mug of petrol. Toss all contents of the mug in the fire. Whoosshhhhhh... Record and play as given in point 3.

7. Walk up to a road-paving bulldozer. Ask the driver if you can have your phone permanently embedded in the road. If they are life-loving, free spirited people, you can have your phone rest in peace in the road (and the road becomes my bride...)

8. Tie the phone to fireworks- maybe a big rocket. Start the video recording on the camera. Light 'em up. If you can find your phone, see if you can salvage the video from the memory card. Now that I figure should be one hell of a sight.

9. Go to a remote hilly area, away from all this crap. Give the phone away to a local villager on one condition based on sheer trust- he clicks pictures every day of the natural surroundings and emails it to you and the end of the month.

10. One more... I need one more...